Blue Eyed Nostalgia

Much like any of my projects I start, I seem to abandon them, but for some reason today I felt the urge to write on this blog again.

Whenever you move, there will always be boxes. Boxes of clothes, boxes of books, and boxes of useless crap you think will bring in some money. Yet, every box will tell you a story.

Today I opened such a box, my Haileybury box. This box in a matter of minutes, made me feel every emotion imaginable. I laughed, I cried, I even became full of rage and anger. I seem to be one of these people who keep the small things. To other people these things would seem silly and insignificant, but when you look back at them now 4 years on, you realise what they truly meant to you.

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The first thing I found in this box was my year book. I remember writing my little “memories” for this book and struggling to come up with things to say. Now that I re-read it I can’t help think to my self “Did I honestly write that and think it was funny?”
I remember the day that we all received our books and I was going through them and feeling heartbroken that certain people hadn’t included me in their goodbyes. This book also made me laugh at all the things people had written where they saw themselves in a few years time or the “most likely to become” categories.

The next thing I found was my old design technology folder full of my course work, drawings, and graphics that I had made for my A2. Never in my life did I think that learning this stuff at 17 would have helped me get the job that I now have. I remembered the time and effort that I spent down in that department, and to think it was all worth while.

I also found a folder full of little things. Boardmaster tickets from 2007, letters and cards from people I loved,and an apology from someone ive always tried to forget.

I was average at Haileybury, and I liked it that way. I didn’t feel like I had to keep up a reputation to impress anyone, or try to build a reputation like others. I was just there. I had my friends and I was content. When reading my year book I remember my best friend writing the little “blurb” about me, asking me if I wanted some of the ongoing rumors to be put to an end. It makes me laugh thinking that some girls would spread something saying I was pregnant, and continued it for 3 years. I think they would have realised that something would have popped out by that time but they always gossiped in biology, so you never know.
When it comes to my friends though, I know I made my mistakes, and since leaving ive tried to mend them, but some aren’t meant to be fixed. I look back at those years now and wonder why so many of us never stayed in contact.

A connection on Facebook is not a connection in real life.

And now even after Uni has finished for me it feels like the same thing. It’s strange because everyone now has grown up, grown apart, and became a new person. People that i was friends with at school are now strangers, and I know they would say the same about me. I don’t want to think that some of these friendships are just ones seen in our year book or “photos of you and……”, i want these friendships to be the ones that when you meet up, it seems like you have never been apart.

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I’ve wronged people and I’ve been wronged by others as well, but if it wasn’t for all of this happening in my past i wouldn’t be the person i am today. I wouldn’t be sitting here on my bed, surround by the people I love and the people who love me, insanely happy with who I’m with and what I have, if I hadn’t taken those chances or made a few mistakes.

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Opening this box mad me nostalgic,but not for the place, not for the good and bad memories made there, but for the people I’ve lost since I’ve left. I know it takes two to make these things work, and distance is always seen as an issue, and even though it may not seem it, but I think about you. Do you think about me too?

Leeds, Its Been Lovely

After 3 years of boozing, clubbing, and occasionally going to a lecture or two, my time at Leeds has finally come to an end. I couldn’t help my self from tearing up whilst sitting in my rammed car, driving out of the city. I don’t know what was worse, the thought of leaving all my friends, or the idea of trying to find a job in Aberdeen. However, whilst I was sitting in the car I began to reminisce about the times I could actually remember from Leeds.

I can remember driving up to Leeds on the move in day. Bodington, here I come! I show up, hungover after a night out saying good-bye to people from Hertford, and not knowing if the sick feeling was from nerves or last nights booze fest.  I pull up in my car, drag my self into the building labeled ‘Woodsley‘, and go on the hunt for my room. I absolutely adored Woodsley even though it was a shit hole.  Even the fact its location was 4 miles from uni made it great, mainly because I never thought I would see someone punch a hole in the ceiling of a bus during a house chant, but now I have.  Met some incredible people in Bodington, however, there were also some complete dicks. Looking back now at the friends I’ve made from Bod, I could not ask for a better, or funnier, first year of uni.

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Second year was completely different to Halls as we lived in a.n 8 man house. Six boys and then one other girl and me.  It was a messy year! The worst part of the year was when we were broken into whilst we were all out, specially because it was at the beginning of the year. The guys that broke in were a couple of pervs as they stole my underwear and left it by the back door….odd. We were so close to uni that you would only have to get up 10 minutes before a lecture to arrive there on time. Some of the nights out we had as a house were ridiculous, and many I cant even remember. There was: Naked lash, the driving game lash, and some interesting house parties (with some nasty surprises…Joel). All in all though, it was an amazing year which will always make me laugh when I think about it.

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I was a bit nervous about 3rd year. Not only was it going to be the hardest year at uni, but I only knew one person in the house of 7 girls. However, after one drunk night which ended up with me flashing my house mates my reggae underwear when I came home, made us friends instantly. This year has been amazing. I’ve met some incredible people that I cant imagine not talking to every day. We’ve had some brilliant house parties and nights out…(no chez, never fruity), but sadly its now all finished.

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I tried so hard not to cry when I knew that so many of the people I know in Leeds I wouldn’t see in ages, or ever again. But seeing all the boys in Terrace from last year, I couldn’t help it. I’ve only ever lived in one place for 3 years, but Leeds actually felt like home, and my friends became my family. Every one accepted my weirdness, but funnily enough not my accent.  But now it takes two to tango to stay friends. I wont lie. I am shit at staying in touch with people, just ask my family.

So Leeds, its been lovely. The next time we meet will be when I’m dressed in a robe trying not to trip up whilst getting my degree.